How to Tell if Someone is in Love With You: You Will Know

If someone is in love with you, you will know, as all the signs are there. Maybe you know how to read the signs, but maybe not, depending upon how aware and astute you are. It is usually self-evident.

The article entitled "15 signs of falling in love", suggests that

“Many individuals eagerly anticipate falling in love, because they have never experienced love or don't really know what being in love feels like. These romantic novices know that love is a euphoric emotion that they want to experience firsthand, and they may even go out of their way to hunt love out.”

Someone who is in love with you may have the same kind of experience you do. How to tell if someone is in love with you can vary from person to person, but there are ways you can tell. Consider the following suggestions. 

Practice the art of observation:

Your perceptual acuity will reveal the truth to you. For example, perhaps your young man behaves like a peacock flaunting its feathers, while skirting around and in front of you as his potential lover. Your observation skills suggest that he is sending you a message by the way he acts. Either he is in love or his hormones are running rampant….maybe both?

Rely on your own instinct:

Your first instinct may be that of awareness of some chemistry between the two of you. Maybe he has fallen in love with you, but maybe you do not sense that chemistry, at least not yet. Tread cautiously, but allow for the possibility. Falling in love can be fun, but a frightening experience if it is not true love.

Listen and observe:

What a person says, verbally and non-verbally, reveals the truth about whether or not he or she is falling in love with you. Be alert to the reality that this person may not be able to verbalize his or her feelings for you, but may express them in other ways like artwork or offering you tokens or gifts. The expression on his or her face can speak louder than words, as can the twinkle in his or her eyes. Is he or she stuttering or stammering? Maybe he or she is blushing or seems nervous.

Be aware of your own responses:

You may be giving clues  to a potential lover by the way that you respond or react to the other person’s language. Note how he or she responds to your words or gestures. Are they encouraging him or her, or are they suggesting rejection?

You are or should be in control of a potential, love relationship. Where it goes depends upon you and the way you want the relationship to go.

The Dangers of Crying Wolf: Discourse on "The Boy Who Cried Wolf"

One of Aesop's Fables is “The Boy Who Cried Wolf”. It is a children’s story that ends with the line, "Nobody believes a liar...even when he is telling the truth!" 

While this story reveals the element of a prank based on a child's mischief coupled with boredom, there is compassion for him, but this story also depicts the dangers of crying wolf.

What does “to cry wolf?” mean?

Freedictionary.com suggests that this is an idiom “to cry or complain about something when nothing is really wrong” or “to ask for help when you do not need it, with the result that no one believes you when help is necessary”.

Perhaps one might suggest that everyone cries wolf at one time or another for different reasons, because we are all human and prone to err. It is a natural instinct to cry for help, even when there is just the slightest fear or suspicion of danger. Some people tend to be fearful, cry or complain or even ask for help almost all of the time. This kind of an emotional response or reaction will likely resolve itself in time.

Crying wolf results in serious concerns if it becomes the habitual behavior of someone engaged in mischief. 

He or she may be trying to alarm others or simply get attention from them. He or she may also be acting as a jokester. If this occurs too often, others will ignore him or her. While initially, others may respond quickly to the plea for help and take it seriously, to them, the attention-seeker becomes someone no longer telling the truth, but rather is a liar. Remember that there are outright lies, as well as white lies. Lies are often the product of one’s overactive imagination.

One of the dangers of crying wolf continually is that after a while, no one believes anything and it all appears to be untruth. It is not fun or fantasy. What the liar says does not matter even when he or she is has a valid reason to be afraid. 

Be aware that everyone has fears of some kind, regardless of his or her age.

Learning to cope with fear is something that comes instinctively to some; others have to learn to cope with fear. Of course, there are varying degrees of fear.  For example, youngsters are fearful of many things. In a strong, supportive family setting, these fears are seldom debilitating. When there is no supportive family setting, youngsters may become fearful of one thing after another, being forced to learn to cope with their fears on their own. One way to cope with fear is by demanding attention.

As the child grows older, paranoia can set in if these fears are not resolved in some way. This paranoia can carry through into teen, adult and even senior adult years. When a real danger presents itself, the child, teen or adult who has become paranoid may continually cry wolf, but by then, others may regard it as an expression of paranoia. An attention-seeker in real danger frequently has to find help elsewhere.

There are serious situations where real danger is imminent and cries for help seem to be crying wolf. For example, a teenage girl stalked by someone over a long time, may lose her credibility. “She is lying,” may be the immediate reaction to her ongoing demands for attention. She finally has to go to the police for help, as no one else believes her any longer, because she always seems to be crying wolf.      

In a world where wolves come in all sizes, shapes and colors, accurately discerning and dealing with actual danger is critical to survival. No one should be continually crying wolf.

How to Cope When You Don't Get the Exam Mark You Want: Persist and You Will Succeed

For students of any age or academic orientation, taking exams can be stressful. The additional stress of not getting the exam results you want or expect, often makes coping more difficult. It becomes a question of properly understanding your anticipated success or failure.

“I failed. I cannot believe it!” You may say, feeling stunned and frustrated, or angry and disillusioned, knowing that you tried your best. Somehow, what you did was not good enough.

“It can also be tough if you feel as if you didn't meet the expectations of others, such as family members or teachers.”

Learning how to cope with low marks or academic failure is important.

Be aware that every student, regardless of age or academic orientation has to deal with low, exam marks at one time or another. Remember that any degree of failure when taking exams can be one of the most difficult things a student has to cope with during his or her academic career. Failure can have an adverse effect on one’s ego.

Become proactive academically, immediately.

Instead of focusing on your personal disappointment, wasting your time and energy on getting angry, internalizing your sense of failure or magnifying your shortcomings with respect to this exam, take a more proactive, positive and constructive approach to your studies. In other words, do something about it. Any exam is worth taking, it was worth doing well on.

Focus on the exam and examiner’s expectations. 

Ask yourself why you received such a low mark or failed. What did you do that caused you to fail this exam? Begin to focus on what the expectations were for this exam. Find the root of your problem, if possible. You may need tutelage or assistance from your teacher. Perhaps others have the same problem, so talk to your classmates about it.     

Did you read the exam questions correctly?

Find out whether you read or understood your exam, the exam questions or the exam requirements, because there is the possibility that while you were under the pressure and stress of writing an exam, you may have misread or misunderstood something. The answers you gave might have been brilliant, or correct in their own way, but perhaps they were not the answers necessary to obtain the passing mark or a high mark. Did you learn the definitions?

Are you being honest with yourself?

Your integrity as a student is one of the most important factors with respect to taking exams. Did you really prepare for this exam properly, or just think you did? Was there something you thought you knew that you did not know? Were you procrastinating? Perhaps you omitted something important or merely glanced over it. Maybe you expected to ace your exam without doing any work. It happens.      

What were your strengths and your weaknesses in this particular exam?

It is always important to find out what the key aspects of an exam are, prior to writing an exam and to focus on developing them further, when you are studying for the exam.  In doing so, you will likely discover your strong or weak points.    

Were there trick questions on the exam?

Some exams include trick questions to see how well you read your exam instructions and whether you know your exam material. Trick questions serve to weed out students who are not serious about their academic studies. 

Was the teacher fair in marking your exam?

Teachers are fair with students and have reputable marking systems. Exams can be placed on a bell curve when the majority of students have low, exam marks. Taking the time to talk to a teacher about the exam and your own work can help to reassure you in that respect. 

What can you do better next time, in order to succeed?

Every time you write an exam, you can likely do better. Find out immediately if you can upgrade or whether there will be room for re-writes or future exams. Do not just let your unexpected, low mark prevent you from furthering your academic career.

Persist and you will succeed.

How to Communicate With Shy Teenagers: Naturally Shy or Seeking Attention?

Trying to communicate with shy teenagers presents a challenge for parents, family members and friends, as well as teachers. Being shy teenagers is never easy for them either, as there can be trying, frustrating and embarrassing situations.

Effective communication with shy teenagers involves breaking through their wall of shyness. It may entail finding some way of overcoming their timidity, as well as their silence.

Communicating with any shy teenager means attempting to understand what is happening with him or her, at that moment. He or she may not realize how shy he or she is. Perhaps he or she is from a family where everyone is shy. Maybe he or she is the only shy person in a family.  

The first question that arises is why this teenager seems so shy. When a teenager appears shy and fails to communicate effectively with others, there can be a number of different reasons. Is the teenager naturally shy or simply acting that way?

Be aware that acting shy can get attention. It may seem cute or funny to the teenager, or others.

There may be other reasons why a teenager appears shy, does not communicate with you or others, or chooses to remain silent when most teenagers do not. Is he or she afraid to communicate with others for some reason? Is the shy teenager naturally shy, quiet or silent by nature, or is he or she silenced by someone or something? Intimidation, bullying and fear can be factors in shyness. What is his or her body language stating?

“Silence is more musical than any song,” wrote Christina Rossetti (1830-1894).

Silence can mean many things, sometimes good but at other times, revealing the truth about a teenager’s inner world. Does he or she seem uncomfortable or embarrassed? A shy teenager may want to run from others.

Approaching a shy teenager should always be with care, compassion and concern. Allowing him or her to enter into a loving, kind and secure relationship, as well as a safe environment, can help to break through what may be a painful experience for him or her. In other words, being a friend to someone who is shy can help him or her to relate to others more freely.

Many teenagers outgrow their shyness as they become older and experience increased exposure to different kinds of group scenarios like high school projects, sports or different things at which they are successful, like art or music. Repeated failure may result increased shyness.

Teenagers may be able to talk to others like peers, teachers, counselors, etc. about their shyness and become actively involved in a support group. It is a good idea to encourage them to talk about being shy, particularly if their shyness seems overwhelming to them. 

Being a good listener for shy teenagers may be the best kind of help or therapy that you can offer.    

What to do When When the Death of a Family Member or Friend is Imminent

Dealing with the pending death of a family member or friend is seldom easy. In fact, when the death of a family member or friend is imminent, it can be devastating. With a pending death on the horizon, there may be a sense of hopelessness and helplessness for everyone.

Those waiting for someone to die may experience mixed emotions including anger, frustration and intense grief combined with depression. Some may respond to their fear in a fight or flight manner, while others become increasingly despondent. Those expecting to receive an inheritance may have a sense of elation, while others sense they will be glad to see an ordeal that includes long-term suffering, come to an end. 

Pallipedia, in an article entitled “The syndrome of imminent death”, discusses the signs and symptoms of a dying patient. 

Showing love for one another is probably the best thing that anyone can do for the dying person, family members and friends.

Support one another:

Taking a stand together as family members and friends is important. Each person is different and coming from a different perspective in terms of his or her relation to a particular dying person. He or she will perceive the pending death differently and often in a unique manner.

Respect, concern and compassion, along with an attitude of caring and sharing for the person who is dying and others, will help everyone to deal with the tenuous situation. Establishing a tentative, flexible schedule so family members and friends can relieve one another intermittently, may be a good idea.  

Avoid conflict:

When a family member is about to die, even the best of friends and family members can enter into open conflict with one another, though that is not the time or place for resolution of crises, familial, financial or other. Avoid conflict whenever possible, particularly around the person whose death is imminent. Allow the person who is dying to die in peace.  

Make preparations:

Final preparations for burials or cremations, wakes or celebration of life services, etc. must be undertaken and so it is important to know who has power of attorney over the dying person’s affairs. Legal consultation in terms of creating a will may be necessary and the dying person’s wishes observed, as much as possible.

Notifying a minister, priest or rabbi is appropriate. At times, a hospital chaplain may help the family members or friends make final preparations. Praying together for the dying person and for one another can help to relieve tensions and stress. Gifts, flowers or tokens of love may have significance in terms of building future relationships.

Thank the doctors, nurses and caregivers:

Saying thank you to doctors, nurses and other caregivers helps to give them a sense of closure. Avoid blaming anyone for the dying person’s status. They are likely to be grieving in their own way and experiencing a sense of pending loss.  

Final farewells:

Final farewells are important to anyone who is dying, as well as to family members and friends. Notify family members and friends and allow time for each person to say goodbye to the dying person, in his or her own way. 

Love as a Confrontational Force: Divine Versus Human Unconditional Love and Confrontation

Should love be a confrontational force? Many would suggest that unconditional love avoids confrontation, whenever possible. If love is a confrontational force, is that not contradictory to its true meaning? In reality, the opposite is true. 

Love should be a powerful, confrontational force to eradicate sin and bring about the conversion of sinners.

“Love worketh no ill to his neighbor: therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.” Romans 13:10 King James Bible

Understanding the true nature of God’s love leads us to His divine concept of unconditional love. The nature of man has not changed and thus, every human being is a sinner who needs salvation, only possible through God’s grace.

Normally people accept unconditional love as meaning that on a human plane one loves the sinner, regardless of his or her sin. Taking a stand avoiding confrontation, should bring about peace. What if it does not and allows room for the sinner to continue to sin?

At times, direct confrontation with divine unconditional love is necessary to bring about a change in man.

Divine unconditional love, based upon God’s Holy Spirit power, enables effective confrontation. When God’s divine unconditional love motivates confrontation, it includes repentance, forgiveness and transition or reformation. Unfortunately, unconditional love as understood on a human plane does not necessarily bring about reformation. 

For example, need for the power of confrontation with unconditional love on a divine plane, becomes evident when a young man does not realize the error of his ways. He has not sought counseling, repented or asked for forgiveness.       

Tragically, there are many instances where unconditional love on a human plane of understanding avoids confrontation when powerful confrontation, motivated by a higher level of unconditional love would bring about reformation. It takes strong Christian leadership to demand reformation and the empowerment and strength of the Holy Spirit to bring about reformation.   

A Soul of Great Beauty: Recognizing a Soul of Great Beauty

From a Christian perspective, God is the Creator of all souls who reveal great beauty. In other religions, people attribute the role of the creation of souls to the divine or nature. God being perfect, as well as the perfect Creator does not err and thus, all souls have the potential to reflect His Divine perfection and great beauty, in one way or another. 

To some, a notable soul of great beauty over the last few decades is Mother Teresa.

Others might suggest that another soul of great beauty is that of Princess Diana.

There are many more.

What constitutes a soul of great beauty?

Beauty is just one aspect of the soul and that beauty reflects God Himself or oneness with His divine Soul, through human beings. Unfortunately, human beings fall into sin and their perception of themselves and others inhibits their ability to perceive that great beauty. At times, one person can see the great beauty of a soul, while others cannot. Remember the old adage that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Think about how beauty may be evident in a soul of great beauty.

Purity of thought, words and deed common to the beholder and the beholden, leads to the perception of a soul of great beauty. Love, namely unconditional love from a divine perspective, in conjunction with unconditional love from a human perspective, makes it possible to see a soul of great beauty.

At times, there may only be brief glimpses of a soul of great beauty. 

A soul of great beauty acknowledged by more than one person may be on different planes of human understanding. In other words, their beauty of the soul may lie in the light shining through their eyes, their smile, their kind words or deeds. Not everyone sees or recognizes inner beauty. 

Infants and children often appear to have souls of great beauty. In terms of the ancients, a gifted sculptor and artist like Michael Angelo had a soul of great beauty. There are others like Beethoven and Chopin, whose powerful music reveals the beauty of their souls.

Those who have beautiful souls reflect inner, as opposed to outer beauty. For example, this may be evident in those around us like the face of a mother caring for her child.

Compassion, kindness and love for others portray virtue in someone with a soul of great beauty. A soul of great beauty often delights others with a twinkle in the eye.    

Every person has the potential to reveal his or her own soul of great beauty, as that is an innate part of God’s creation. A soul of great beauty is not usually associated with money, but rather with the beauty of God’s Holy Spirit manifest through him or her.