It would appear that
relationships are very much like two stars colliding or passing each other in
the night. Suddenly, one of the stars starts to tumble for some unknown reason;
perhaps the other falls, too. Then there is the scenario of two falling stars
with long trails of light reflected behind them. Maybe those trails are not really light as such, but friction; the collision having created some sparks, that
others can see.
When two people get involved in a relationship, it is because one or the other perceived
something that attracted him or her to that other person. Reality has it that
times change and so do people's needs. As a result, quite often the two people will head in opposite directions.
For example, in a marriage, a
man wants to find his excitement in gambling, drinking, nights out with the
boys and so on, while his wife wants to have a happy life at home, with her
husband and children. Can the two stay in a relationship unless one concedes? Probably
not.
In another scenario, a man
desires to be a successful, business man, which involves hours and hours of
extra work at night. His wife also works, but wants to have a social
life in the evening hours. Can these two stay in this relationship and succeed
at marriage? Maybe, but maybe not.
Again, every relationship is
different. There is complexity and diversity in relationships, particularly in
terms of individual interests and concerns.
Can a man who desires to support
world peace movements all over the globe, stay in a relationship where that is
not an interest as far as his spouse is concerned? What if tea parties
are her thing?
Looking at relationships merely
in terms of lifestyles and interests is not enough. There is also the
perception factor. When one sees black and the other sees white, conflict
results immediately. Is it possible for both to see in the same way? That may
happen in some instances, but it probably does not happen very often.
Christianity has a lot to do with one's perception, in many ways. Love of God and one another, offers a sound foundation
for marriage. Remember though, that there can still be differing degrees of
understanding in terms of the word love. It is quite likely that seriously
committed Christians will stay together regardless of circumstances, or even try to overcome their differences in
time, if only for the sake of their family unit. That is not always possible
either.
Faithfulness is important in
terms of relationships and so is forgiveness. Each one of us falls short at
some time, but we don't have to be perfect in life or in marriage. Wouldn't it
be wonderful if we were all perfect? But then, we would have no differences of
any kind and that might just get boring.
Boredom is one factor that
causes relationships to fail. Perhaps one spouse gets bored with the other, or
challenges him or herself mentally, while the other does not. Who winds up
getting bored? Maybe both do, because they are traveling in opposite
directions.
But like stars that meet in the
night, sometimes only on a collision course and then fall, or move in another
direction, people will always be in some kind of a relationship with someone.
How long that relationship lasts, depends a lot on how mutually satisfying that
relationship is for both of them.
When relationships do end, sometimes
it is the best thing that ever could have happened for either one, or both.
Maybe an extended family was supposed to grow on one side of their former relationship,
or even on both sides of that relationship.
What is more important than why
relationships fail, is the question of what we can do to help relationships succeed. We want to see two stars shining brightly in the night, even though
falling stars can appear to be romantic at times, too.
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