How to Deal With the Death of a Grandparent: Death of a Grandparent and Coping With Grief

It is always difficult to lose a loved one, especially a grandparent. The death of a grandparent can be devastating, particularly for someone who has had a good relationship with him or her. Many grandparents grow very close to their grandchildren, bonding with them at an early age.

A family may anticipate the death of a grandparent when there is an illness, but it still comes as a shock when it actually happens. Even a grandparent dying a natural death, at a very old age, can be traumatizing for those who love him or her.

Consider the following guidelines with respect to how to deal with the death of a grandparent.

The grieving process:

The article, “Coping with Grief and Loss: Understanding the Grieving Process” discusses different ways people respond to grief and suggests that while “there is no right or wrong way to grieve, there are healthy ways to cope with the pain that, in time, can renew you and permit you to move on.”

Children grieving for a grandparent:

No one can really explain to children how to deal with the death of a grandparent. What they do need to know is that the grandparent loved them. Depending upon the child’s age and level of awareness, he or she may not understand the concept of death. A child of any age will likely be aware that a grandparent is no longer present, at times, possibly blaming him or herself for the absence of the grandparent.

The article, “Children’s grief responses” discusses how children experience grief in different ways. No two children are alike and their experiences with their grandparents are different, as well. A young child will often grieve differently than an older child or teenager.  

Respecting the memories of grandparents:

Memories of grandparents can vary considerably; some of them will be good, but probably not all of them. It becomes important for anyone who is dealing with the loss of a grandparent to be able to respect the memories of his or her grandparent. It is not as if that grandparent was a perfect person, as he or she may not have done everything right, all of the time. Grandparents are human and prone to err, like everyone else. 

Treasuring positive memories can help anyone dealing with the death of a grandparent. Individual recollections may gradually fade over time, but recalling different aspects of family memories together can prove beneficial in terms of healing the pain that lingers on.

Remember that grandparents were not only grandparents. They were parents, as well as aunts and uncles. At one time, they were children or teenagers. Thus, those dealing with a grandparent’s death may be dealing with memories of different kinds, over several generations in any family. Each person has to grieve for a grandparent in his or her own way.

Celebrating the life of a grandparent allows expression of different relationships. Perhaps a sister or brother relationship comes into the light. It may be a marital relationship or a parental relationship.Be aware that no one grieves perfectly or has to grieve perfectly. 

Many expressions of grief are heart warming and comforting to others. Being there for each other when there is the death of a grandparent can be a blessing for everyone.