Going off to college can be the
most exciting, challenging and happiest time in the life of students, but
sometimes it entails long distance relationships which can have pros and cons.
The global phenomenon of long
distance relationships may involve romance, but that is not always the case, as
there can be non-romantic, long distance relationships. For example, a
teenager goes to college in another geographical location and is separated from
his or her parents and siblings, perhaps for the first time, which can be
traumatizing. Being part of any family involves building and maintaining
strong, positive, close and long distance relationships with them.
The article by Breeana Skinner
entitled “Perceptions of
students in long term relationships" argues that there are three types of
long distance relationships: “non-long, medium long and extreme long
distance” and suggests,
“The extreme long distance
relationship was perceived less favorable than the other two relationship
types. Specifically a peer in an extreme long distance relationship was
perceived as less likely to remain in the relationship, less faithful, as
putting less effort into the relationship, and as having a lower overall
quality of relationship.”
Many students attend colleges
in different locations because they are preparing for specific careers and must
find colleges that offer the appropriate courses. The courses they need may not
be available at their local colleges. Some students want to move away for one
reason or another, but that does not mean that they do not want, or will not
miss the close physical and emotional contact that supportive families and
others offer.
In an era of high unemployment
because of declining economy, many older students, baby boomers and retired
seniors seeking employment, leave their homes and families to attend college.
Having a long distance
relationship when you are romantically involved, engaged or newly married, or
even after being married for a long time, involves finding a way to continue close
or intimate relationships while away.
Distancing yourself by going to college
can appear to be overwhelming, frightening or result in conflict because a
degree of uncertainty prevails. Maintaining social ties and effective
communication can be problematic. Financial concerns may arise. There may also
be loss of physical contact and face-to-face interaction.
At the same time, love with its
multiplicity, diversity and complexity of expression never dies. Parents, spouses,
family members and friends or others, never stop loving those who are not
present.
There are many positive aspects
of long distance relationships.
Going away to college has the
power to strengthen, intensify and enhance previous, romantic or non-romantic
relationships. Earlier problematic relationships may take on a different
perspective, or can be seen in a new light, for example the relationships
between parents and college students. Many students learn to appreciate their
parents while they are away at college; the opposite can be true, as well.
Romantics who are supportive of
each other often solidify their relationships, even when distance separates
them temporarily. The mutual appreciation of their love relationships may
intensify.
Note that the time factor is
important for any student attending college, as a serious college student must
shift his or her focus to full time studying in order to succeed. There may
also be increased awareness of opportunities in a new location, particularly
when it takes on a global perspective.
Students attending college in
other geographical locations can begin to develop new levels of maturity,
self-esteem and empowerment. Even when there is fear of being alone, or fear of
the unknown, there are invariably new horizons to explore, different realms of
discovery and new life challenges to experience.
In many ways, the pros and cons
of long distant relationships make attending college in another geographical
location difficult, but the pros invariably outweigh the cons.
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