What Can You Do to Remedy Empty Nest Blues: Empty Nest Syndrome and Coping With Depression

With more and more single parent families, the face of empty nest blues is changing. Are you a mother or father who is experiencing grief, loss and even remorse associated with empty nest syndrome? 

Most parents realize that at some point in time, they will have to experience empty nest syndrome, as it is inevitable for their children to be mature enough to leave home, but no one really expects to go through empty nest blues when that happens.  

What is empty nest syndrome?

“Empty-nest syndrome is the name given to a psychological condition that can affect parents (most commonly women) around the time that their children leave home.”

Parents love their children and like little birds, the children have to move on in their lives. Empty nest syndrome is “the label for the feelings of sadness and loss, which many individuals experience when their children fly the nest.”

While this can happen to a parent at any time, it can also happen when teenagers start college or university. Some children marry and start their families immediately or leave home to pursue careers or other interests. For parents it can be a wonderful experience or a devastating one. 

Remedying the empty nest blues can present a challenge, but there are things that you as a parent can do, rather than dwell in the depths of depression.

Consider the following guidelines to remedy the empty nest blues.

Do not panic:

When there is a major change in your life like your children leaving home, your first reaction may be fear leading to panic. Being alone after years of raising your children will be somewhat of a shock. Remember that your children will always be your children regardless of where they are, or where you are. For some parents, the opportunity to be alone and being able to get on with their own lives is a good thing. For others, it can be extremely difficult to cope initially.  

Be realistic:

Perhaps you are just heading into empty nest syndrome. Have you begun to do some realistic planning? Your future is in your hands. Most parents are aware that while empty nest syndrome is inevitable, that does not make it easier. Facing the situation is problematic for some parents, while others see it as an exciting new time in their lives and make their plans accordingly.

Maintain communication:

Making a sincere effort to maintain communication with your children should give you peace of mind, as you realize you are still able to be in touch with them, if or when you choose to do so, or they can contact you whenever necessary. You will be reassured that they are able to take care of themselves. Many parents hear a cry for help from children learning how to cope with their new life styles.  

Plan special occasions together:

Will you be celebrating special occasions with your children? Many parents visit their children wherever they have special occasions or holidays. Others make an extra effort to welcome them home. The thought of seeing each other is something to look forward to and can lift the feeling of the blues. 

Make plans for your own lives:

As parents who are alone, are you making plans for your own future? Parents see this as an opportunity to enjoy their lives more fully and begin to work on projects they have wanted to undertake for a long time. Some will travel, downsize, join organizations, find new friends, etc. What have you always wanted to do?

Pathological blues:

The nature of menopause combined with the severity of the depression with empty nest syndrome, suggests that at times, it may be important to seek psychological counseling, particularly when the symptoms of depression continue or are overwhelming.

Most mothers and fathers experiencing empty nest syndrome are able to move on and enjoy living their own lives, with the prospect of grandchildren to look forward to at some time in the future. Perhaps this will be your experience, too.

A word of caution, use your empty nest syndrome time wisely, as your children may decide to move back home. 

Look at those around you who have never had children or children living at home. Life goes on regardless and it is always a challenge!